This content was originally published by the Global Family Office Community (GFOC), to access their full journal, please click here.

‍

Never work with children, animals, or your parents, or so they say in the film industry – bar the part about parents. And yet, blockbusters keep being released starring animals and children - Harry Potter, Home Alone, and Free Willy, to name a few.

When it comes to working with parents, apparently Hollywood doesn’t offer the same warning or face the same problems as it does with pets and children. I’m fairly sure Tom Cruise was never asked to cast his mother or father in Mission: Impossible (it might have ended in a truly impossible mission if he had!). In the real world, working with your parents, especially in a family business, can feel like the biggest challenge of all.

As infants we were reliant on our parents. As adults, gradually and gently (or sometimes suddenly) that reliance inverts as we start making decisions alongside or even for them. In family business settings, this transition can be extremely tricky, given our parents' historical roles as decision-makers and leaders. Letting go psychologically is not easy. Founders aren’t just running a company; they’re often deeply attached to it— it’s tied to their identity, legacy, and even life achievement. Handing over control, even gradually, can feel like giving up a part of themselves.

This inevitable cycle and shift in dynamics is inescapable and will, sooner or later, reach us too. While working with your own parents can seem like ‘mission impossible’ at times, it’s worth recognising that how we interact with our parents is a model for how our children will one day interact with us. We’ve all seen, sometimes with embarrassment or amusement, how children imitate their parents. As adults, we’re still doing it, only in more subtle and life altering ways. Whether we like it or not, we subconsciously absorb their habits, decision-making, and emotional responses. After all, our parents are our first models of leadership, romantic relationships, conflict resolution, and in the case of a family business - business management. How we deal with a difficult situation, live our relationships, and behave as parents – it’s all influenced by what we’ve seen and experienced firsthand growing up.

That’s not to say that the future has been written in stone – far from it. While you may find it difficult to change your relationship with your parents, you do have the power to influence what you model to your own next generation (that includes how you behave with your parents now) and shape outcomes for generations to come.

Of course, you don't have to solve this alone. I’m always amazed at how readily we turn for help when there is a health issue – GPs, cardiologists, gastroenterologists – the list goes on. Similarly, when facing business or legal issues there’s no hesitation in consulting wealth managers, tax advisors, or lawyers. Yet, when it comes to family dynamics, many delay seeking expert guidance. And it isn’t due to a lack of specialists in family business succession – from succession planning advisors and legacy planners to mindset coaches, trusted family office heads, and family lawyers. That’s not to say it’s a magic wand (just look at the British royal family) but it does help smooth the way.

At the same time, involving professionals is only one piece of the puzzle, the family itself plays a huge part. This is where succession either flourishes or falls apart. A well-managed transition ensures that values, knowledge, and responsibilities are shared over time, not simply handed over in one overwhelming moment. A good family business succession starts with openness - teaching values and financial literacy from an early age, ensuring regular conversations about the business, and allowing the next generation to engage, ask questions, and take on responsibilities incrementally. Some families define their legacy in writing, others pass it down orally—but the key is they talk. They pass on not just the wealth but the story behind it: who built it, how it was made, and why it matters. It also comes down to the next generation - the most successful aren’t just waiting for their turn - they’re engaged, curious, and willing to learn. They ask what it takes to be a director, what skills they need to develop, and what values the business upholds.

Conversely, a bad succession is marked by secrecy, control, and fear. A founder who refuses to let go, who believes they alone know best, and who does not communicate their expectations clearly, creates a culture where children and successors are disengaged, uncertain, or even fearful of bringing up difficult topics. At its worst, a toxic family business dynamic can be damaging to mental health, leaving individuals trapped under the weight of an overbearing parent. In such cases, it may be necessary to step outside the business and carve out a career, passion, or financial independence beyond their influence.

While you may not be able to change your parents, you can change how you navigate your succession transition. The way you approach this will shape your own experience and that of future generations. If you were to take a step back and ask yourself if your child (or future child), niece or nephew were watching how you are handling your own succession today, what would they learn?

Conclusion

As can be gathered, working with your parents in a family business can feel like a curious mix of sitcom and psychological drama – equal parts heartfelt and hair-raising. But beneath the everyday tensions lies something more enduring: how you handle this transition doesn’t just affect your present, it shapes what the next generation learns and carries forward. As an inheritor, you are not just taking on assets, you are absorbing behaviours, values, and habits that will echo into the future. If you are navigating the emotional and practical realities of working with family, we would be happy to help you do so with clarity, empathy, and a sense of perspective (and a dash of humour where needed!).

‍